Things are going well - other than the fact that I am quarentined...  I'm infected.  Damn.  Antibiotics, steroids, and the common Kentucky crud accessories...

I'm going to be a "Nielson Family" - they bribed me for a whole 5 dollars cash...  I'm easy....LMAO!!!

Going to get some more rest.  Have a blessed day.  :-)

Well, my laptop decided to take a shit today, however, I am fairly confident that I have corrected the machine's malfunction.

Anyways - It's almost 02:30 in the morning, and I find myself not tired in the least.  I think that a slice of homemade cheesecake is in order.

Sorry to Cyndi because Saturday night got all FUBAR.  Won't get into it here, but it was just horrible timing...  I am so sorry, my friend.  Perhaps a trip to see Mason down in Florida is in order, with a layover in Fayetteville, NC...  More to come on this...

Marshmallow and HOO-B (Hooker Bitch) are settled into the townhouse.  They are being good kitty cats for the most part...  :-)  Love my kittehs.

Glad that everything down in central Florida is okay.  That takes a lot of stress off of me.  Waiting for Oogi's school pictures to be sent to A.

I am still recovering from my 01 OCT move from NKY...  Right ankle been swollen pretty good, and my knees and lower back are still in quite a bit of pain. NO PAINKILLERS!  So proud of myself.  Other than when the ENT clinic physician prescribed them a year ago tomorrow for my Open Septorhinoplasty... Other than those pills, I have been OPIATE pill-free for 2 years come 04 DEC.  Yea me!!!!


So now that a lot of things have been completed, I can finally relax...

Will make an effort to keep this damn thing up to date. 

Everyone have a great and blessed day. 

I've had a lot on my mind lately.  Big changes.  I'm not sure what I want to write about all of this, yet, I feel that it is time to get a few things out of my head. 

1 - I am not crazy.
2 - My sanity is on scales, and it's difficult to keep em balanced.
3 - I will be roaming down to the ville soon to hang out and wait on Social Security... Beats sitting in Covington.
4 - I am in the process of my recovery that I refuse to be held back from my addiction any longer!!!  I am going to go out, enjoy life, and I really DGAF what people think about me or what I am doing.  I may be old and crippled, but I am still an AWESOME guy!!!
5 - Not sure what is in store for the rest of my life, but, I am going to live my life on MY TERMS, and if that is not acceptable to certain people, see #4.
6 - Everyone needs to KCCO during this time.  I am going to KCCO no matter how bad shit gets.
7 - I am OWNING my thoughts and feelings, and once again, I really DGAF what people think.

Everyone KCCO, and will update y'all as all this shit happens.

Damn there is so much stuff going through my brain right now...  A lot of decisions that I have to make...  Think I'm gonna take a break from all these things for a while, and do some things that I want to do.

For example - I am gonna make Marshmallow his own website.  I also want to go out and take some more photos and learn this damn software.  I also want to learn how to brew beer.  I think that I also want to start volunteering again...  Not as a firefighter, but perhaps assisting individuals who are less fortunate than myself.

Ahh...  Gordon Lightfoot...  Great music...

Good night, all...  Til next time...

Was definitely an informative visit.  A lot of talking, a lot of exchanging of thoughts.  Been up for going on 36 hours no sleep, but it was kinda nice to know that I still have a parent who cares...  More to come later, but for now, good night.

My sleep hygiene is not great at all...  I'm not sure what's going on with it, but I feel like I need to start getting on some type of schedule.

Secret Agent Kitty is doing well...  When I get paid, I need to get him some more toys... Laser pointer is a must!  He craves attention, though...  Guess that's not a bad thing.

I'm in the middle of rearranging my apartment... I just don't like everything the way it is right now...

Lot's to do, and lot's to get out here, but can't right now.  Hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed day!

Damn, I miss firefighting...  I miss serving...  I miss helping others...  Yes, it screwed up my head pretty bad, and I got hurt a few times, and probably taken A LOT of unnecessary risks, but I always felt deep down inside, that I was put on this earth to take care and help other people regardless of whether or not my life was in danger.

I feel as if that was my calling from God...

However, God and I still have some issues to resolve...  I had a Chaplain tell me about a year or so ago that I am, "...further along in my spiritual journey,"  than I realize...  I still search for answers to this very day...

It's funny how PTSD and religion are closely related.  Out of all the counseling, therapy, treatment, and research, I still seek answers.  I have been told that I should just simply accept everything for what it is, however, I am not satisfied with that.

Am I searching for the meaning of life, and just not realize it?  I honestly don't know, but I have spent many sleepless nights trying to figure things out...  I still can't.  Perhaps if I keep searching, I will find it...  At the very least, I will find an answer or explanation that will at least satisfy me...  My personal truth, perhaps...

Maybe I need more spiritual guidance from the church...  Maybe I should continue to study the Bible?

I so desire to know what is on the other side...  Death is a part of life, so do we continue to "live" after we pass on?  Do I get a "free pass" since I have helped so many people in their time of need?  Why would God let me experience a little child's flesh "melting" through my gloved hands?  What lesson does that teach me?

I have so many questions, and hardly any answers...